So... how affordable is the "Affordable Care Act?" Well let me just explain.
The health insurance premium for Frankie and myself has gone up from $317/month to $337. (It will be cancelled as of 1/1/14)
Our deductible has gone from $8,000 to $10,000.
Our copayment went from $30 for unlimited office visits to $60 for the first three office visits, then 100% cost until our $10,000 deductible is met, and then $60 from there on out.
Urgent care was $30 for unlimited visits, it's now $120 for the first three visits, then 100% until $10,000 deductible is met.
Specialist visits were $30, they're now $70.
Generic prescriptions were $10, they're now $19.
Brand name prescriptions were $35, they're now $50.
Chiropractic was 50% covered and now is not covered at all.
Also, we are required to purchase pediatric dental coverage.
Preventive, lab, xray, outpatient, hospitalization and maternity were unchanged.
Acupuncture is now covered, $60 per visit instead of 50% per visit.
Seems really affordable, doesn't it?
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
Please help a family get their kids back from CPS
It's been a while since I've posted on my blog but this post is not about me. It's for family who I believe is being mistreated by CPS and I am asking you as a concerned citizen to hear their story and help them get their children back. Mind you this is only one side of the story, but I feel it is my duty to at least help get their story out there.
The family affected is the Vanderhoof family. The parents' names are Vienna and Clifford. They have two little girls, Meagan, 8, and Cheyenne, 5. The mom is my grandma's dog groomer and they live in the town of Newcastle, north of Sacramento. Here is their story.
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| Cheyenne and Megean |
It has now been 3 weeks and the family does not know where the children are being fostered. They have only been able to see their children three times, once a week in a public location with supervision.
The court assigned them each an attorney. Neither of their attorneys have ever called them back. They have been assigned a social worker who came by the house two days ago but never entered the home. The police have also never been called to the home before, during or after this ordeal.
They say the mother is depressed and the father has alcohol problems but according to the family there has never been an issue nor is there any record of alcohol abuse or domestic violence at this residence.
The parents do not know what to do so I am trying to get this story out there in hopes of helping them. They cannot afford a private attorney or anyone that can help them get their story out. I have contacted local and national news channels and have had a little response, which is better than none, but they all acknowledge how difficult CPS cases can be. They have said that the agency is anything but transparent and will not return phone calls to update reporters on a case.
It breaks my heart as a new mom that someone could come into your home and take your children away without warning. Please share this story, this family needs your help.
The parents do not know what to do so I am trying to get this story out there in hopes of helping them. They cannot afford a private attorney or anyone that can help them get their story out. I have contacted local and national news channels and have had a little response, which is better than none, but they all acknowledge how difficult CPS cases can be. They have said that the agency is anything but transparent and will not return phone calls to update reporters on a case.
It breaks my heart as a new mom that someone could come into your home and take your children away without warning. Please share this story, this family needs your help.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Made in America
This blog is going to be a rant blog, just thought I'd warn everyone up front.
I believe that globalization can be a good thing. I got my degree in Finance with a minor in Economics so I have to believe that because it makes sense on a financial and growth perspective. Globalization has made products more affordable and has made them available on the global market. When you export manufacturing to Asia, supply goes up, therefore prices go down. Which all sounds like a great idea right? It is a great idea but something else we learned in Econ was the law unintended consequences.
In the Econ world the law unintended consequences (Definition) can be a good thing or a bad thing. An example of the good is when a citizen decides to go out on his own and become an entrepreneur for his own gain. Then his business grows and he hires employees, it was an unforeseen thing but in his selfishness of wanting to work for himself, he benefited others.
More often than not though, an unintended consequence tends to be negative. An example of the negative is the 2012 dog treat recall. A "good" idea from the company was to cut costs by making the dog treats overseas but the unintended consequence of that was almost 1,000 dogs were sickened by the treats that were made overseas (article) and you can bet the company ended up paying a ton of money in damages to those families. (And I could almost guarantee it was more than they saved by shipping manufacturing over there.) Or what about that factory in Bangladesh that collapsed and killed hundreds (article.)
My point is that we have shipped nearly all children's products overseas. Go to Babies R Us and try to find a teether that's not made in China. (I did that this week, I failed) Go to nearly any retailer to find bottles, binkies, blankets, clothing, strollers, purses, swings, toys, shoes, anything.... it's hard to do. Even the 4th of July outfits for little kids at Babies R Us that had American flags on them were made in China (MIC.) (Ironic much?)
I understand it's cheaper to manufacture in China but what's the cost to us? What if the plastic used in China is toxic and your child chews on it and has a reaction? Or that cute outfit you bought your baby that was MIC gives your child a rash all over her body? And those are just the most minimal consequences that we could suffer.
I know it's almost impossible to avoid buying EVERYTHING that's MIC but I do my damnedest to buy things that are made in America. I just think that if more people paid attention to these things maybe, just maybe, designers and companies would realize that we know that they're still charging the same for a product that used to be made here. They're saving money but we're paying the same. Double check where your Coach purse was made, or your designer jeans, because a lot of those designers are changing their manufacturing but not passing along the savings to you. If you're going to buy something that's MIC, might as well get it from Wal-Mart where you get it for the cheapest price... they all come from the same factory anyway.
Just food for thought. #rantover
xox <3 p="">
I believe that globalization can be a good thing. I got my degree in Finance with a minor in Economics so I have to believe that because it makes sense on a financial and growth perspective. Globalization has made products more affordable and has made them available on the global market. When you export manufacturing to Asia, supply goes up, therefore prices go down. Which all sounds like a great idea right? It is a great idea but something else we learned in Econ was the law unintended consequences.
In the Econ world the law unintended consequences (Definition) can be a good thing or a bad thing. An example of the good is when a citizen decides to go out on his own and become an entrepreneur for his own gain. Then his business grows and he hires employees, it was an unforeseen thing but in his selfishness of wanting to work for himself, he benefited others.
More often than not though, an unintended consequence tends to be negative. An example of the negative is the 2012 dog treat recall. A "good" idea from the company was to cut costs by making the dog treats overseas but the unintended consequence of that was almost 1,000 dogs were sickened by the treats that were made overseas (article) and you can bet the company ended up paying a ton of money in damages to those families. (And I could almost guarantee it was more than they saved by shipping manufacturing over there.) Or what about that factory in Bangladesh that collapsed and killed hundreds (article.)
My point is that we have shipped nearly all children's products overseas. Go to Babies R Us and try to find a teether that's not made in China. (I did that this week, I failed) Go to nearly any retailer to find bottles, binkies, blankets, clothing, strollers, purses, swings, toys, shoes, anything.... it's hard to do. Even the 4th of July outfits for little kids at Babies R Us that had American flags on them were made in China (MIC.) (Ironic much?)
I understand it's cheaper to manufacture in China but what's the cost to us? What if the plastic used in China is toxic and your child chews on it and has a reaction? Or that cute outfit you bought your baby that was MIC gives your child a rash all over her body? And those are just the most minimal consequences that we could suffer.
I know it's almost impossible to avoid buying EVERYTHING that's MIC but I do my damnedest to buy things that are made in America. I just think that if more people paid attention to these things maybe, just maybe, designers and companies would realize that we know that they're still charging the same for a product that used to be made here. They're saving money but we're paying the same. Double check where your Coach purse was made, or your designer jeans, because a lot of those designers are changing their manufacturing but not passing along the savings to you. If you're going to buy something that's MIC, might as well get it from Wal-Mart where you get it for the cheapest price... they all come from the same factory anyway.
Just food for thought. #rantover
xox <3 p="">
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
My choice as a mom
Frankie is 18 weeks this week which means that this week mommy's leave is up. So that means it is time to make a choice, return to work or stay home with the best little girl in the entire world. The past 18 weeks have been the best weeks of my life. I'm still not sure how 18 weeks can go by so fast but I'm now a firm believer in the whole time flies while you're having fun thing.
Anyway, I love what I do for my career. I get to represent the sport I love, travel the country and run the social media program at the NHRA. I have an amazing audience full of the most passionate, loyal fans in all of motorsports. I've had the opportunity to turn my ideas into very successful projects that are still going strong today even without me in the office. I get to work with great media outlets, teams and drivers and over the past two years I have learned so much but it doesn't even compare to what I've learned over the past 18 weeks.
Over the past 18 weeks I've learned about love at first sight, I've learned about unconditional love, I've learned about selfless love, I've learned that I come second or third or fourth sometimes and that's no problem at all, I've learned that my husband is a wonderful father and loving provider, I've learned that I'm totally okay with being spit up on and even pooped on, I've learned that a baby really does change everything, I've learned that blessings come with a baby, I've learned that no matter what's going on, things will always work out and I've learned what is truly important in life. (As well as a million more things I don't have time to list.)
I'm pretty sure I've given away my decision but just in case, I'm choosing not to go back to work at NHRA. As much as I love what I do and I love the sport of the NHRA as well as all those involved, I love Frankie and my family more. I can't imagine dropping her off at daycare or Nana's house every single day during the week. I don't want to miss all these precious moments I've gotten to witness and experience over the past 18 weeks. The way I look at it is I can always go back to a career but I can't get a do-over with raising my little girl. Luckily, my husband agrees.
Sure it might be tough for a while... I might get bored, frustrated or miss the extra paycheck at times but I won't miss my little girl and to me, that's most important. In the end, it all will be okay, we'll learn through struggles.
All you moms who go back to work are very tough cookies! I just can't do it.
When one door closes, another one opens so who knows what my future holds on the career-front but I know on the mommy-front I'll be as happy and fulfilled as I could ever imagine.
If the next 18 years are anything like the past 18 weeks, it's going to be one fun, emotional, and exciting ride! I can't wait.
"You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once." ~Polish Proverb
Anyway, I love what I do for my career. I get to represent the sport I love, travel the country and run the social media program at the NHRA. I have an amazing audience full of the most passionate, loyal fans in all of motorsports. I've had the opportunity to turn my ideas into very successful projects that are still going strong today even without me in the office. I get to work with great media outlets, teams and drivers and over the past two years I have learned so much but it doesn't even compare to what I've learned over the past 18 weeks.Over the past 18 weeks I've learned about love at first sight, I've learned about unconditional love, I've learned about selfless love, I've learned that I come second or third or fourth sometimes and that's no problem at all, I've learned that my husband is a wonderful father and loving provider, I've learned that I'm totally okay with being spit up on and even pooped on, I've learned that a baby really does change everything, I've learned that blessings come with a baby, I've learned that no matter what's going on, things will always work out and I've learned what is truly important in life. (As well as a million more things I don't have time to list.)
I'm pretty sure I've given away my decision but just in case, I'm choosing not to go back to work at NHRA. As much as I love what I do and I love the sport of the NHRA as well as all those involved, I love Frankie and my family more. I can't imagine dropping her off at daycare or Nana's house every single day during the week. I don't want to miss all these precious moments I've gotten to witness and experience over the past 18 weeks. The way I look at it is I can always go back to a career but I can't get a do-over with raising my little girl. Luckily, my husband agrees.
Sure it might be tough for a while... I might get bored, frustrated or miss the extra paycheck at times but I won't miss my little girl and to me, that's most important. In the end, it all will be okay, we'll learn through struggles.
All you moms who go back to work are very tough cookies! I just can't do it.
When one door closes, another one opens so who knows what my future holds on the career-front but I know on the mommy-front I'll be as happy and fulfilled as I could ever imagine.
If the next 18 years are anything like the past 18 weeks, it's going to be one fun, emotional, and exciting ride! I can't wait.
"You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once." ~Polish Proverb
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
The best thing I can do for my kids...
One of the most controversial and hot topics of our time is easily health.... mainly fighting obesity and promoting physical activity. Now I'm not big on the government telling me what I can and cannot do (eh hemmm Mayor Bloomberg and his ban on Big Gulps) but I believe that through a little common sense and some education (even just good ol' Google) it's pretty easy to decipher what's good for you and your family and what's not so good.
My mom was on the anti-transfat duty LONG before it was popular. I remember as a kid going through the grocery store with my mom and my brother and I would ask her if we could have a snack or treat or something and she would always say "look at the ingredients," and we knew EXACTLY what that meant. If the words partially hydrogenated were on the ingredients list, we had to put it back and we knew that we'd never be able to convince mom to buy it and that has stuck with me to this day. We know that crap is not good for us, so we try not to eat it.
My parents never ever used the word diet (that I could remember) but we always had well-rounded meals. There's names for all these kinds of diets nowadays but the truth is our meals and snacks consisted of fruits, vegetables, protein and good carbs. My mom also cooked for us every meal, every day and we had family dinner pretty much every night. Sure we'd go out occasionally but it wasn't that often. And we were able to indulge in one piece of chocolate or one cookie, just not the whole box. We learned portions and the meal time is family time, something that we still do to this day and I plan to always do with my family.
Another thing my parents were good at promoting was physical activity. We were enrolled in sports or dance basically as young as we could have been. Plus my parents went to the gym almost everyday, it wasn't ever a chore it was just the lifestyle that my parents lived and encouraged us to as well. Now, at almost 27, I try to do at least some physical activity every single day. It's not only good for my physical health, it's great for my mental health too. I just feel better about myself if I get some exercise in and if you feel better, you'll do better and be better.
I haven't been to the gym since before mini was born but I've worked out almost every single day since about a week after she made her debut and she's been with me for almost every single one. Granted we live in sunny Southern California so I'm able to put her in the Moby wrap or stroller and take a walk or head to the beach for a hike, but somedays we don't make it outside and she becomes my 12 pound weight for chest presses, squats and overhead pulls. My point is that sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do and a little bit is better than nothing at all.
What I learned from my parents is how to live a healthy lifestyle and that's exactly what I want to pass on to my daughter (and other future kiddos). Sure we all battle with those 10 pounds (more for me right now since I'm still working to lose the baby weight) but honestly it's about so much more than just looking good naked, it's about being healthy on the inside and out not for me but for my kids. If my husband and I are healthy now and we continue to do be, we'll be around a lot longer and be there for our grandkids and great-grandkids like my Poppy who's 78, still goes to the gym and walks a mile each way every single day to get the mail.
Mommy lesson learned: The best thing I can do for my kids is be healthy today so I'll be there for them tomorrow AND your kids will learn from your example so be the best example you can be.
My mom was on the anti-transfat duty LONG before it was popular. I remember as a kid going through the grocery store with my mom and my brother and I would ask her if we could have a snack or treat or something and she would always say "look at the ingredients," and we knew EXACTLY what that meant. If the words partially hydrogenated were on the ingredients list, we had to put it back and we knew that we'd never be able to convince mom to buy it and that has stuck with me to this day. We know that crap is not good for us, so we try not to eat it.
My parents never ever used the word diet (that I could remember) but we always had well-rounded meals. There's names for all these kinds of diets nowadays but the truth is our meals and snacks consisted of fruits, vegetables, protein and good carbs. My mom also cooked for us every meal, every day and we had family dinner pretty much every night. Sure we'd go out occasionally but it wasn't that often. And we were able to indulge in one piece of chocolate or one cookie, just not the whole box. We learned portions and the meal time is family time, something that we still do to this day and I plan to always do with my family.
Another thing my parents were good at promoting was physical activity. We were enrolled in sports or dance basically as young as we could have been. Plus my parents went to the gym almost everyday, it wasn't ever a chore it was just the lifestyle that my parents lived and encouraged us to as well. Now, at almost 27, I try to do at least some physical activity every single day. It's not only good for my physical health, it's great for my mental health too. I just feel better about myself if I get some exercise in and if you feel better, you'll do better and be better.I haven't been to the gym since before mini was born but I've worked out almost every single day since about a week after she made her debut and she's been with me for almost every single one. Granted we live in sunny Southern California so I'm able to put her in the Moby wrap or stroller and take a walk or head to the beach for a hike, but somedays we don't make it outside and she becomes my 12 pound weight for chest presses, squats and overhead pulls. My point is that sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do and a little bit is better than nothing at all.
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| Mini with her great-grandma and great-poppy |
Mommy lesson learned: The best thing I can do for my kids is be healthy today so I'll be there for them tomorrow AND your kids will learn from your example so be the best example you can be.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
90% of life (and parenting) is just showing up
I am a lucky girl. I was raised by two amazing parents. I didn't have a tough childhood, but I know lots of people who weren't as lucky as me. Some are my age, some younger, and some a lot older. One thing I learned is that it doesn't matter how old they got, if they had issues with their parents they never truly outgrew them.
When I look at my daughter and think of what some of these parents did to their kids, it makes me cry. I could never, ever, EVER imagine putting anything ahead of her. She is the most important thing in my life and raising her to be a good-hearted, strong, loving and independent woman is now my life's purpose. Unfortunately, not every person has that same idea when it comes to raising their children.
Without giving away identities, I am extremely close with a person who is in his 50's and is a very successful businessman, a loving dad, grandfather, husband, friend, son-in-law, father-in-law and person. If you didn't know him, you'd have no idea that he was dealt a crappy hand when it came to parents. He hides it well but deep down, he wants a relationship with his parents and who could blame him? He was abandoned by his parents at 16 but before that, they were far from great parents. (Abusive, alcoholic, greedy, etc.)
I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for my parents and truth be told, he probably wouldn't be either. He's the kind of person that lives by the motto "You don't think I can do this? Well watch me do that and more." And he does it. If he wants something, he manages to go out and get it. Maybe it was because he had no choice but to be successful in his life or maybe its because he thinks being successful will make him good enough for his parents, I honestly don't know and I don't think he does either.
No matter how much money he has or how much he is loved by his family there is a small hole in his heart that will always be void because of his crappy parents. He doesn't let it bother him most of the time but every once in a while, it does and how could it not? His mom doesn't call him EVER. Not even on his birthday or Christmas or any other holiday for that matter and even at 50-something, you can tell it upsets him. All he wants is a 3 minute phone call, once a year and she can't (or won't) do it.\\
It's hard to see such a strong person, hurt so much by the person he loved first in his life. The trouble is she loves him the way she thinks she should. Right or wrong, that's how she must see it. Maybe she thinks he's better off without her? Or maybe she doesn't think he needs her but no matter how old you are, you never outgrow your need for your mom. Maybe it's just human nature, but there's something about that mother-child bond that is a necessary part of life. Even when your mind says let it go, your heart can't.
What I've found is that you don't have to be the best or most perfect parent ever... even though mine definitely are and that's why I'm so awesome, duh (; ... BUT you just have to be there, be present. You don't have to buy your kids whatever they want, you don't have to spoil them, you don't have to do much when it comes to materialistic things because in the end, those things are just things. (and over spoiling your kids will mess them up worse if you're not present anyway) What a child needs is a parent (preferably both) who's there... what's that quote? 90% of life is just showing up... Well it couldn't be truer for parenting.
I know I'm just the mom of an 8 week old baby, but knowing what I know and seeing what I've seen from friends and family with crappy parents and with good parents, showing up is the difference. My mom (and dad a lot of the time) was at every parent-teacher conference, every basketball game, every little league game, every field trip, everyday when I got home from school, every time I needed someone to talk to, every time I got in trouble, every time I needed a hug, every time I fell down... you get the picture, they were always there.
I'm a lucky kid who grew up to be a pretty decent person and now I get to do my best to be a good parent to my little one. I hope I can continue the cycle and be there for my daughter (and future kids) everyday for the rest of my life.
When I look at my daughter and think of what some of these parents did to their kids, it makes me cry. I could never, ever, EVER imagine putting anything ahead of her. She is the most important thing in my life and raising her to be a good-hearted, strong, loving and independent woman is now my life's purpose. Unfortunately, not every person has that same idea when it comes to raising their children.
Without giving away identities, I am extremely close with a person who is in his 50's and is a very successful businessman, a loving dad, grandfather, husband, friend, son-in-law, father-in-law and person. If you didn't know him, you'd have no idea that he was dealt a crappy hand when it came to parents. He hides it well but deep down, he wants a relationship with his parents and who could blame him? He was abandoned by his parents at 16 but before that, they were far from great parents. (Abusive, alcoholic, greedy, etc.)
I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for my parents and truth be told, he probably wouldn't be either. He's the kind of person that lives by the motto "You don't think I can do this? Well watch me do that and more." And he does it. If he wants something, he manages to go out and get it. Maybe it was because he had no choice but to be successful in his life or maybe its because he thinks being successful will make him good enough for his parents, I honestly don't know and I don't think he does either.
No matter how much money he has or how much he is loved by his family there is a small hole in his heart that will always be void because of his crappy parents. He doesn't let it bother him most of the time but every once in a while, it does and how could it not? His mom doesn't call him EVER. Not even on his birthday or Christmas or any other holiday for that matter and even at 50-something, you can tell it upsets him. All he wants is a 3 minute phone call, once a year and she can't (or won't) do it.\\
It's hard to see such a strong person, hurt so much by the person he loved first in his life. The trouble is she loves him the way she thinks she should. Right or wrong, that's how she must see it. Maybe she thinks he's better off without her? Or maybe she doesn't think he needs her but no matter how old you are, you never outgrow your need for your mom. Maybe it's just human nature, but there's something about that mother-child bond that is a necessary part of life. Even when your mind says let it go, your heart can't.
What I've found is that you don't have to be the best or most perfect parent ever... even though mine definitely are and that's why I'm so awesome, duh (; ... BUT you just have to be there, be present. You don't have to buy your kids whatever they want, you don't have to spoil them, you don't have to do much when it comes to materialistic things because in the end, those things are just things. (and over spoiling your kids will mess them up worse if you're not present anyway) What a child needs is a parent (preferably both) who's there... what's that quote? 90% of life is just showing up... Well it couldn't be truer for parenting.
I know I'm just the mom of an 8 week old baby, but knowing what I know and seeing what I've seen from friends and family with crappy parents and with good parents, showing up is the difference. My mom (and dad a lot of the time) was at every parent-teacher conference, every basketball game, every little league game, every field trip, everyday when I got home from school, every time I needed someone to talk to, every time I got in trouble, every time I needed a hug, every time I fell down... you get the picture, they were always there.
I'm a lucky kid who grew up to be a pretty decent person and now I get to do my best to be a good parent to my little one. I hope I can continue the cycle and be there for my daughter (and future kids) everyday for the rest of my life.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Reality Check
Francesca and I took a nice long walk yesterday, over four miles actually. I only lost one pound last week so decided I needed to take it up a notch this week. Anyway...
Toward the end of our walk we headed over to Costco to pick up a few things and as I was crossing the street I saw a lady with a stroller and two little ones who looked like she was struggling so I asked her if I could help her, thinking I could maybe hold her stroller or something while she puts it all back together (I know this struggle well.) But it turns out she didn't speak much English and was standing at the corner looking for help with a sign that said "Anything will help. God Bless."
My heart sank. I asked her what she needed. She said she needed money for rent but one thing I have always believed is to not give cash. I am all for giving but you never know why they are in the situation they are in (drugs, alcohol, etc.) and cash can buy any of those things. She didn't look like she had any issues with those substances but you never know. Anyway, I wanted to help the children most importantly so I asked her what I could get her from Costco and she requested diapers. That I could handle and not feel guilty about not giving nor for giving her cash and not knowing exactly what she would do with it.
As I walked away all I could think about was how terrible that would be to be in her situation and how much of a reality check it was for me. Here I am worrying about making less money while on maternity leave and hubby and I trying to figure out if it's possible to survive on one income if we wanted to... and there she is standing on the side of the road, no older than 25, with an infant and a three year old. It broke my heart and really made me realize how lucky we really are. We're not struggling to pay rent or put food on our table, we're struggling with our own selfishness because we want to go out to dinner when we want, go on a weekend getaway, go shopping...
So needless to say I went in and bought her baby diapers. Yeah the diapers were $40 since Costco only has gigantic sized packaging and we don't really have that money to waste but it was far from a waste. A quote I read recently popped into my head when I was looking at the diapers... "No one ever went broke from giving." So I didn't feel bad for spending the money on her and her family.
When I gave her the Costco sized box of size 2 diapers, her face lit up and it made me happy to be able put a smile on her face. The language gap was huge but I could tell that it was something that she needed and it made me happy to help in whatever way I could. One phrase she knew in English was "God bless you." She continually said it to me and I'm not sure if it was because I gave her the diapers or because I actually came back with the diapers when I told her I'd buy them for her half an hour before.
I felt closer to God in that moment. I was reassured that God will give you what you need and often times it's a message and that message will come to you when you're least expecting it but when you need it most.
Mommy Lesson:
1) Be thankful for what you have and give when you can.
xox
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Toward the end of our walk we headed over to Costco to pick up a few things and as I was crossing the street I saw a lady with a stroller and two little ones who looked like she was struggling so I asked her if I could help her, thinking I could maybe hold her stroller or something while she puts it all back together (I know this struggle well.) But it turns out she didn't speak much English and was standing at the corner looking for help with a sign that said "Anything will help. God Bless."
My heart sank. I asked her what she needed. She said she needed money for rent but one thing I have always believed is to not give cash. I am all for giving but you never know why they are in the situation they are in (drugs, alcohol, etc.) and cash can buy any of those things. She didn't look like she had any issues with those substances but you never know. Anyway, I wanted to help the children most importantly so I asked her what I could get her from Costco and she requested diapers. That I could handle and not feel guilty about not giving nor for giving her cash and not knowing exactly what she would do with it.
As I walked away all I could think about was how terrible that would be to be in her situation and how much of a reality check it was for me. Here I am worrying about making less money while on maternity leave and hubby and I trying to figure out if it's possible to survive on one income if we wanted to... and there she is standing on the side of the road, no older than 25, with an infant and a three year old. It broke my heart and really made me realize how lucky we really are. We're not struggling to pay rent or put food on our table, we're struggling with our own selfishness because we want to go out to dinner when we want, go on a weekend getaway, go shopping...
So needless to say I went in and bought her baby diapers. Yeah the diapers were $40 since Costco only has gigantic sized packaging and we don't really have that money to waste but it was far from a waste. A quote I read recently popped into my head when I was looking at the diapers... "No one ever went broke from giving." So I didn't feel bad for spending the money on her and her family.
When I gave her the Costco sized box of size 2 diapers, her face lit up and it made me happy to be able put a smile on her face. The language gap was huge but I could tell that it was something that she needed and it made me happy to help in whatever way I could. One phrase she knew in English was "God bless you." She continually said it to me and I'm not sure if it was because I gave her the diapers or because I actually came back with the diapers when I told her I'd buy them for her half an hour before.
I felt closer to God in that moment. I was reassured that God will give you what you need and often times it's a message and that message will come to you when you're least expecting it but when you need it most.
Mommy Lesson:
1) Be thankful for what you have and give when you can.
xox
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